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From your child鈥檚 first words to their first day of college, you鈥檒l watch and support them as they surpass a series of important developmental milestones. Along with these well-known stepping stones, there is another set of developmental skills that will prove just as important. Known as social-emotional learning, or SEL, this area of development is essential for making friends, communicating feelings and needs, and making good decisions as children and teens navigate the world.

SEL can also help kids interact with peers from different backgrounds as they grow up in today鈥檚 increasingly diverse society. And since various areas of child development work together, a child鈥檚 social growth can lead to other cognitive and educational achievements, too. As your child learns and grows over the years, you can offer continued guidance to help your child reap the many benefits of SEL.

Enhancing emotional intelligence through SEL

SEL can greatly impact your child鈥檚 emotional intelligence (sometimes abbreviated as EI), which is their ability to understand, express, and manage their emotions. This is also commonly called emotional quotient or EQ. Although EI/EQ may sound like the latest breakthrough in technology, rest assured that it鈥檚 just a simple way to make sure your child is learning about feelings.

When kids can identify what they feel, this can help them express their needs and wants in a healthy way. A high EQ can also prevent negative behaviors such as angry outbursts. The concept of emotional intelligence focuses mainly on self-management or self-regulation, but EI/EQ is connected to the way your child interacts with peers as well. Kids who recognize and understand their own feelings are more likely to understand how others feel. And kids who demonstrate empathy and compassion are less likely to engage in teasing or bullying.

Think of SEL as one of the best ways to help your child live by the 鈥済olden rule鈥�: treating others the way they want to be treated.

Academic success and SEL

Research has linked students who participate in SEL programs to . This includes test scores, school attendance, classroom engagement, and teacher and peer relationships. Reports based on feedback and have also shown that SEL programs often lead to a decrease in mental health issues and behavioral problems. Simply put, when kids feel good about themselves, they can show up with a positive attitude and focus on their academic goals at school. Emotionally intelligent students are more likely to build healthy relationships with teachers and classmates, work cooperatively, and follow rules and routines, too.

So, what do school SEL programs look like and how can they benefit your child? While this depends on each school鈥檚 program of choice and the way it鈥檚 implemented, there are a few common expectations across the board. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (), a leading organization in the development of SEL programs, recommends four key elements based on the acronym SAFE. This stands for:

• Sequenced: Providing connected and coordinated activities to foster skills development.
• Active: Employing active forms of learning to help students strengthen new skills.
• Focused: Dedicating time and attention to developing personal and social skills.
• Explicit: Targeting specific social and emotional skills.

Following this formula, SEL programs teach kids emotional intelligence through step-by-step instruction and fun, engaging activities. Students learn how to practice relaxation techniques, resolve conflicts, and talk about their feelings with trusted adults. To ensure that schools are on the right track, CASEL also offers a to help administrators find the perfect SEL program to meet students鈥� needs. Check in with your school district if you want to learn more about how (or if) your child is learning SEL skills at school and what, if any, curriculum is being used.

In addition to school programs, kids also benefit from receiving SEL support at home. Outside of the school setting, developing social-emotional skills might not require a formal curriculum. You can help your child build SEL skills through strategies such as reading, play, music, and parents and teachers modeling emotionally intelligent behaviors.

The long-term impact of SEL

While social-emotional learning has become a hot topic in many households, classrooms, and even boardrooms within the past decade, it鈥檚 not a temporary fad or trend. SEL is an essential area of development that can greatly impact children over their entire life span by helping them develop meaningful and lasting interpersonal relationships.

Numerous demonstrate that people with strong social networks are not only happier but experience better health and increased longevity. In fact, shows that the presence or absence of a healthy support network has as much or more effect on how long we live as well-known risk factors like smoking, alcohol consumption, and obesity. With continued research and , the hope is that SEL programs will become as common as traditional academic subjects, such as reading, writing, and math.

Contrary to popular belief, SEL is not limited to early childhood development. In fact, like other developmental milestones, your child will continue to build their EI/EQ and strengthen their social-emotional skills throughout life. Here鈥檚 an overview of what to expect as they build on these skills over the years:

• Infants: Babies first learn social-emotional concepts with parents and caregivers. They develop skills such as bonding, recognizing facial expressions, and expressing needs (e.g. crying for a bottle when they鈥檙e hungry). While still dependent on adults, babies can start learning how to self-soothe in order to manage negative emotions (e.g. reaching for a stuffed toy or pacifier when upset). They鈥檒l develop an increased sense of self-awareness as they discover their own likes and dislikes and become more independent with self-help skills, such as feeding and playing with toys unassisted.
• Toddlers: SEL for toddlers includes fostering verbal communication/expression and independence. As a parent, you can support your child鈥檚 social instincts by providing opportunities to play with other children and develop friendships. You can help support independence and self-help by encouraging your child to choose books and snacks. Teaching SEL skills, such as using words to express their needs, can help stop tantrums and even prevent tantrums.
• Preschoolers: Between the ages of 3 and 5, kids become more aware of their emotions and can learn to label them with increased vocabulary. These newfound verbal expression skills can help reduce frustration and outbursts of anger and tears. To encourage cooperation, you can teach your preschooler to play respectfully with others and practice sharing and taking turns.
• Elementary school students: As children enter school settings, their social skills can grow by leaps and bounds. They begin to form more meaningful friendships and will learn how to follow a structured set of rules and routines that may differ from expectations at home. SEL skills for K-5 students can also help children develop self-awareness, develop self-regulation, build confidence, and develop character-building virtues as well.
• Middle school students: Tweens experience many developmental changes throughout the middle school years, and their social-emotional development will follow suit. As your middle schooler experiences the emotional roller coaster of adolescence, SEL can help strengthen impulse control, independent thinking, and decisive action. In fact, many educators believe that SEL is as or more important for tweens and teens as they develop the skills and abilities required to handle life in the real world after high school. During these years, SEL programs include more complex strategies to help children learn skills such as self-motivation, goal setting, and stress management.
• High school students: As teenagers face challenges with peer pressure, sexuality, and other stressors, SEL can help them navigate these tough situations and make difficult decisions. A strong social-emotional foundation early on can help prevent and help teens manage issues like depression, anxiety, drugs, and alcohol. As they prepare for adulthood, teens can build on previous SEL skills while adding new ones, such as critical thinking, perseverance, leadership, and the ability to handle failure.

Speaking of adulthood, while SEL may go by other names, the life skills it teaches will continue to be useful far beyond the high school years. Social-emotional learning is a lifelong journey as adults will continually explore ways to manage and express emotions in healthy ways.

SEL is a critical area of child development — yet sometimes it is overlooked. It鈥檚 important for parents to understand the positive, lifelong impact of a strong social-emotional foundation and offer guidance in the family environment, while reinforcing SEL lessons in school. The social, emotional, and academic benefits of SEL can set kids up for success in a diverse world. Good communication skills and the ability to work cooperatively will prepare children for the challenges they鈥檒l face in every phase of life. As more parents and schools incorporate SEL lessons and activities into their regular routines, the benefits may become more evident for many years to come.