You want your kids to have a healthy social life and do well in school. You want them to behave morally and have good values. For that, they need hefty doses of self-esteem and a strong sense of right and wrong. That’s what leads to respectful, responsible, and appropriate relationships. But the media often model and encourage just the opposite. Reality TV shows — which routinely rank in the top 10 for tween viewing — glamorize people who lie and ruthlessly stab each other in the back to win competitions. Social media and text messages have become new ways to cheat and bully. Rampant consumerism encourages kids to define who they are by what they own. And gender and racial stereotypes abound in video games, movies, TV shows, and music, sending kids unhealthy messages about social norms. A determined that children from low-income households who were deliberately exposed to positive, longterm messaging in the media altered their life trajectory by improving their social, academic, and economic situations.
Why you should care
Like it or not, the media is an all-encompassing, always-present, giant role model and “super-peer” for kids. Sadly, kids spend more time absorbing the media’s messages as they get older than they do absorbing ours. What our kids see, hear, and play models views and behavior that may conflict with our own values and conduct. The commercial nature of today’s media encourages kids to put enormous emphasis on what they own, leaving them vulnerable to more anxiety and depression. The expectations the media creates for our kids are disturbing. Researchers in New Zealand, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1363460714550905 for example, studied video diaries of 71 pre-teen girls and determined they were 鈥渓aunched into premature sexuality鈥� due to the influence of their celebrity idols. What counterbalancing messages do we need to give our children so they can grow up at their own pace with healthy social skills and attitudes?
Some facts you should know
- The American Academy of Pediatrics lists the following as : poor school performance, hitting or pushing other kids, talking back to adults, frequent nightmares, eating unhealthy foods, smoking, drinking, doing drugs.
- (2022) by Donna Jackson Nakazawa, examines today鈥檚 increase in anxiety, depression, and self-harm in young girls. Social media is a primary culprit.
- Race and ethnic stereotypes persist in the media, according to a . According to a 2024 report on the top 50 TV shows in the U.S., 61 percent of the lead characters were white, only six percent were Hispanic, and seven percent were Asian. What鈥檚 more, a not only found very few Asian characters in leading roles, but that most Asian characters 鈥渉ave a proximity to whiteness鈥�, such as having a lighter skin tone or not talking to any other Asian characters.
- Kids know that they鈥檙e doing things with media that their parents wouldn鈥檛 like. reported that they鈥檝e watched something online that their parents or guardians would disapprove of — if they knew.
Common sense says
Media is full of teachable moments.
Point out antisocial behavior and racial stereotyping, and discuss consequences. Point out words and behavior in popular TV shows, websites, and music that are both positive and negative examples of what you do and don’t want your kids to model. What you say to your child is up to you, but have the discussion.
Pick age-appropriate media.
Kids ages 2 to 7 should be exposed to media featuring good role models, racial and gender diversity, and no stereotypes.
Embrace media they like.
Rejecting your kids’ love of popular culture can close off avenues of communication. Embrace their world, but establish clear boundaries about what you find acceptable and appropriate.
Redirect their energy.
Help teens balance their need for rebellion and self-expression with an appreciation of acceptable social action.
Kids need to understand how to communicate and use media wisely and ethically. If they engage with media that includes antisocial behavior, make sure they understand the impact and potential consequences.
Let older kids see things you don’t agree with.
But then discuss exactly what you don’t like with them. Since we won’t always be around, we need to make sure we instill critical-thinking skills in our kids.
Connect the dots.
If your kids are heavy media users and they demonstrate poor behavior or experience eating disorders, addictions, low school performance or depression, connect the dots — and disconnect the source.
Limit screen time for young kids.
Toddlers between 18 and 24 months should be limited to only watching educational programming with a caregiver, according to the . For children ages 2 to 5 years old, non-educational screen watching should only be one hour on weekdays and three hours on weekends.
