When you’re raising children, it’s important to understand their health and development at every stage. This guide provides essential insights into the developmental milestones your child will encounter from early childhood through adolescence as well as key areas of health.

We’ll cover important topics, including developmental milestones, the importance of play, physical health and fitness, sleep, nutrition, emotional development, brain development, the effects of screentime, learning and cognitive development, risky behaviors to be aware of, talking about sex, and healthy habits you can instill as a family. Along the way we’ll include practical tips to support your child’s growth. Our goal is to help you create a nurturing environment at home that promotes well-being and resilience.

Child development milestones

Understanding developmental milestones helps parents track their child’s growth effectively.

The first very important truth is that every child develops on their own timeline. Our age-based milestones are guides. If your child is not hitting each milestone at exactly the time listed, do not panic. Instead, use it as background information. These may be things to work on with your child through play or to ask your pediatrician about. Or your child may be developing at their own pace.

Developmental milestones ages 3 through 5: In these early years, children enhance physical, social, emotional, and cognitive skills. They improve fine and gross motor skills, engage in cooperative play, and begin to recognize the colors of the rainbow and, by age 5, how to count to 10. Here’s a year-by-year breakdown for ages 3, 4, and 5, too. (Again, these are guidelines.)

Your 6-year-old child: At 6, children refine their skills, learning to read simple words and count beyond 20. They also start forming friendships and better understand sharing and taking turns.

Your 7-year-old child: By age 7, children can express thoughts clearly and develop hobbies. Emotional regulation improves, aiding in conflict resolution with peers.

Your 8-year-old child: Suddenly, your 8-year-old will have more stamina, running and swimming longer than before. They’ll also be more inclined toward group play and wanting to be part of the group.

13- to 16-year-olds: Teenagers face rapid physical changes and navigate new self-esteem and social dynamics. They become more independent in academics and decision-making, making encouragement and open communication crucial during this transition.

In addition to age-based milestones, some big school-related milestones are on the horizon. For example, starting kindergarten is a rite of passage for children and parents alike. Even deciding if your child is ready for kindergarten is a big question that your child’s preschool teacher and pediatrician can help you answer. On the one hand, this may be an opportunity to extend your baby’s childhood by offering them one more year of play-based learning in preschool. On the other hand, your child may be ready for letter sounds, shapes, and the social skills they’ll gain in kindergarten.

In the blink of an eye, your same child will be ready for sixth grade. Starting middle school is another rite of passage, and there are some key changes socially, emotionally, and academically that you’ll want to be prepared for when your child starts sixth grade.

The following year — seventh grade — is widely recognized in the U.S. as the worst year of school. But it’s not all bad. And either way, it’s good for parents to be ready to support your child in this thrilling, daunting year.

Blink twice and the next thing you know, your teen is in high school. With the stress, the excitement, the anxiety, the independence, there’s a lot to take in. Parents often get whiplash watching their teen be a child one moment and a little adult the next. In recent years, “aܱپԲ” has entered the lexicon, which is a nod to the fact that sometimes teens are in no hurry to grow up. And yet they’re asserting their independence in other developmentally appropriate ways the next.

Play and development

The importance of play in your child’s development cannot and should never be overstated. Children of all ages benefit from the power of play, learning motor skills, social skills, emotional regulation, counting, turn taking, time management, and nearly every key skill under the sun. At some points in their development, boys and girls may play differently, and at other times there is no difference (just as there is really no difference in girls’ and boys’ brains, despite the pop culture references you may hear to the contrary).

Psychologist and child development expert Madeline Levine, who has written a few New York Times bestsellers, including Teach Your Children Well, reminds us to let our children develop at their own pace rather than getting caught up in external measures. The key to healthy development, she says, “for young children, it’s just sensory exploration — that’s how they learn. For middle-age children, it’s about trying different things — not really specializing. Trying your hands at lots of different things, to find out what you are good at, and to learn how to be friends with people. In adolescence, it’s about identity and the beginning of relationships and intimacy. And those things take time.” Remember to give your child this time.

So keep the importance of play for your child’s development in mind. At school, recess and PE matter. Sports, too. At home, playing board games as a family matters. These are key ways your child develops and can develop a love of learning, too.

Physical health and fitness

Physical education (PE) plays a crucial role in fostering healthy habits in children, focusing not just on sports but also on developing lifelong motor skills, coordination, and fitness. With little ones, play catch to learn coordination and sharing. For kindergartners through second graders, PE activities center around fundamental motor skills, encouraging movement through fun games.

As children transition to third, fourth, and fifth grades, the emphasis shifts to teamwork and strategy, with structured sports and physical challenges.

Your first grader will enjoy activities that enhance coordination and social skills, while second and third graders engage in more complex games to refine their abilities. By fourth and fifth grades, students start to grasp fitness concepts, set personal goals, and develop endurance.

Today’s PE programs have evolved beyond traditional games like dodgeball, introducing diverse activities that engage all students. Some classrooms are experimenting with adding movement to the school day in creative ways.

Choosing the right shoes and athletic gear is vital for comfort and safety, allowing children to move freely. Involving the whole family in fitness can further encourage active lifestyles at home. In the winter, you can take fitness indoors. And year-round, your family can start a habit of taking a walk after dinner, which is a great way to bond with your tween or teen as well as instilling a lifelong healthy habit.

Incorporating fun exercises like hopping, galloping, and side-sliding keeps everyone engaged. Following preschool playground guidelines also ensure safe play for younger children, promoting active playtime.

Sports and athletics in your child’s development

Of brawn and brain, our article on the importance of exercise, asks the question: can kids sweat their way to better grades? The research points to yes. “After exercise, kids have greater amounts of attention, respond more correctly to decisions, and perform more efficiently,” explains Charles Hillman, a neuroscientist at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Research into how exercise boosts the brain as well as the body abounds.

Similarly, in our piece on roughhousing, Dr. Anthony T. DeBenedet explains that from a scientific standpoint, random physical play that engages all your limbs kick-starts positive changes in the brain.

Exercise and team sports each hold tremendous power to boost a child’s development, so consider how much exercise and physical activity your child is getting and how your child may benefit from trying out team sports. Kids who are involved in school sports tend to feel more confident and connected at school. This is why it’s important that all children get a chance to participate. As a parent you want to be aware of the dangers certain sports hold for girls and boys and the fact that sometimes we, as parents, can get too swept up into our children’s sports. Aim to find activities that your child will enjoy while also allowing them enough time for sleep, school, and to develop their own unique passions.

Sleep and child development

Children ages 6 to 13 need about nine to 11 hours of sleep every night, according to the . Yet studies show that most kids are not getting enough sleep. According to the , your child’s sleep is linked to their brain development. When your child sleeps, their energy is restored and important brain development hormones are released. Research findings suggest that not getting enough sleep affects children’s learning and behavior through specific, measurable brain changes.

Learn seven ways to be your child’s sleep advocate and get your child sufficient sleep. Learn how to help your teen get enough sleep, which is eight to 10 hours per night. One key way to help your child get enough sleep is to cut out screen time two hours before bedtime. For teens, consider setting a digital curfew, which can benefit their physical and mental health.

Unfortunately, a few areas of teen life are not well aligned with your teen’s need for sleep. First, most high schools across the U.S. start too early, despite what the research shows is best for kids. Second, many schools — elementary, middle, and high schools — give too much homework, leaving kids with the untenable choice between their health and their grades. Finally, many sports teams hold practice and games late into the evening, forcing student athletes to sacrifice sleep. Talk to your child, school leaders, teachers, and coaches about how they can support your child’s health by ensuring adequate time for school, extracurriculars, and sleep.

Nutrition and healthy eating

Establishing healthy eating habits early in life is essential for maintaining a healthy weight and combating the childhood obesity epidemic. Open conversations about weight can help children understand the importance of nutrition without fostering negative body image issues. Research shows that talking to your child about weight is a challenge many parents avoid. We have articles that can help. Check out these recommendations from a physician. Here are ways to discuss junk food and how the food we eat affects our brain.

As parents, addressing surprising links to obesity — like the effects of screen time, all those junk food ads, and lack of physical activity — can provide insight into making healthier choices. You can also check in with your child’s school to see what improvements you can make.

Start the day right with smart breakfast options that fuel your child’s mind. Think eggs, whole-grain cereals, yogurt with fruit, or smoothies packed with greens and berries. For snacks, consider nutritious pre-homework options like apple slices with almond butter or carrot sticks with hummus.

These not only provide energy but also enhance focus and productivity.

When it comes to lunch, it’s time to think beyond the traditional sandwich. Explore a variety of options, such as wraps, salads, and grain bowls. You can even take inspiration from global cuisines with school lunch ideas from around the world, introducing flavors and nutrients that keep meals exciting. Learn the secrets of successful lunches.

Consistency is key; keep good eating habits going through summer by involving your kids in meal prep and gardening.

Getting kids to eat their veggies can be challenging, but some tricks can help. Try incorporating colorful, fun presentations like cutting radishes into flower shapes or cucumbers into pentagons.

To make lunches more fun, consider using cookie cutters for shapes or adding a surprise ingredient — like an egg for added protein. Encourage your child to help in the kitchen, fostering independence and an understanding of healthy choices.

Together, you can revolutionize your family’s approach to nutrition and create a positive relationship with food that lasts a lifetime.

Learning activities with food

A great way for kids to learn about food is hands-on projects. Here are a few food-related learning activities to try with your children.

Edible art: Make a collage of good-for-you foods. Include lots of different fruits and vegetables — new ones and beloved favorites like strawberries, too. This is a great activity for kids ages 4 to 11.

Connect food and literature: What’s your child’s latest or read? Either make a dish from that book or brainstorm with your child what they think the characters might eat. Meatballs from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, perhaps? Or something hilarious from the Harry Potter series, like butterbeer or cauldron cakes? This is a great activity for kids ages 7 to 14.

Plant parts salad: Plan and make a salad — but not just any old salad — one made of seeds, roots, stems, leaves, flowers, and fruits. This activity helps your child learn about the various plant parts and, hopefully, helps them see salad in a whole new way. This is a great activity for kids ages 5 to 12.

Edible scavenger hunt: The farmer’s market is the ideal place for this activity. Give your child the list, set the timer, and see how many of these tasks they can complete. It’s a great learning tool — both for produce and practicing social skills. This is a great activity for kids ages 9 to 12.

Follow a recipe: Yes, this is as simple as it sounds — but the reminder is real because cooking together is such a wonderful way for kids to learn and practice reading, math, and thinking skills. This is a great activity for kids ages 3 to 14.

Mental and emotional development

You’ve been enthralled by your child’s mental and emotional development since birth — that first smile, the first belly laugh, learning to walk, run, and climb. We have a whole section of our website devoted to early learning, so here we cover mental and emotional development from elementary school on up.

You’ve long understood your child’s temperament, perhaps intuitively, but as your child interacts with the school system, it’s a good idea to delve more deeply into understanding your child. After all, the better you understand your child, the better you can support them. Start by considering these nine basic temperament traits. Next, consider temperament in the classroom. This can help you understand how to help support your child (along with the teacher) and find the right fit. Finally, take a moment to consider how different temperaments affect family life and how to handle challenging temperament traits.

You may notice new habits you’d like to break (biting fingernails comes to mind), wonder if their Halloween costume choice means anything, or worry that your child is more immature than their peers. Not every parent will have the same concerns, but many parents will be worried about similar issues. This overview is a great way to understand how your child’s emotions and emotional issues will change as they grow.

Two issues all parents need to be aware of from an early age and throughout the teen years are the signs and effects of stress and anxiety. Please visit the mental health section of our website, where we go into depth on both and discuss research-based ways parents can help.

Before you know it, puberty brings a whirlwind of changes, which can be overwhelming. Acknowledging that this is a “new normal” helps children feel more comfortable navigating their transformations. Physically, many tweens and teens grapple with body image issues influenced by societal standards, social media, and peer pressure. Our article walks parents through supportive ways to help. And this principal’s open letter to parents about navigating puberty — and introducing deodorant — is both humorous and helpful for parents. At this time, it’s crucial to create a safe space for open discussions about self-esteem and body positivity. Provide reassurance and education about the physical and emotional changes they may experience, promoting acceptance of their evolving selves.

Encourage your child to appreciate their unique qualities and understand that everyone’s body is different. Books, media (and in some cases, less media), and real-life examples can help shift the focus from appearance to character and abilities.

Emotional issues can fluctuate significantly as children grow. And every child develops in their own way and at their own pace. In the teen years, some boys become less talkative just as the girls their age get more so. Other teens withdraw in different ways. Helping children develop coping strategies, such as mindfulness or journaling, can empower them to understand and manage their feelings. Equip your child with tools to handle challenging situations, such as relaxation techniques or physical activities that promote mental clarity. Encourage regular exercise, which has proven benefits for reducing stress levels and enhancing mood. Experiences like outdoor adventures can also play a transformative role in a child’s emotional development. The wilderness provides opportunities for self-discovery, teamwork, and resilience. These experiences can foster a sense of independence and help children develop critical life skills.

Additionally, teach them that it’s okay to seek help from trusted adults when they feel overwhelmed.

By nurturing mental and emotional well-being, parents can help children navigate the challenges of growing up, empowering them to thrive in an ever-changing world.

Talking about sex and gender with your child

First, the news many parents don’t want to hear: you should start talking about “it” sooner rather than later. Don’t wait for puberty. Keep it light and age-appropriate. Here’s how to talk to young children about sex.

You may wonder what they’ll learn about sex at school. The answer is that it varies widely depending on where you live and the type of school your child attends. But even if your child’s school has a comprehensive sex ed program, it’s best for parents to establish open lines of communication and to let your child know that you’re open to any questions they may have. At any time.

Start “the talk” early (yes, like age 6) and keep the conversation ongoing. But don’t just limit it to the physical changes they’ll encounter in puberty. Talk about gender identity and gender pronouns. If this is an area where you have a lot to learn, that’s okay. Be honest with your child and model an openminded attitude of acceptance and love. Frame it as a discussion rather than a lecture, encouraging your child to share their thoughts and ask questions.

Talking about sex with your teen can feel daunting, but it’s essential for their understanding of relationships and health. It’s essential that your teen is informed because there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Be aware of what your teen learns from media, as it can negatively shape (and distort) their perceptions of sex and relationships. Discuss how media often portrays unrealistic scenarios and emphasize the importance of real-life communication and consent.

Establish clear boundaries in your home regarding relationships and sexual behavior. If you think your child is sexually active, take the opportunity to share your values and build your bond with your child. Teens whose parents openly discuss what is acceptable sexual behavior are much less likely to engage in random hook-ups because they have learned that sexual intimacy is a personal, special way of expressing closeness between two people who care for and trust each other. Set expectations about what’s acceptable and encourage respectful conversations about dating, intimacy and consent, and healthy relationships.

By creating a safe space for dialogue, you help your teen make informed choices about their sexual health and well-being.

Your child’s brain development

Understanding brain development is a wonderful way to understand your developing child. Here’s a sneak peak at what’s going on at each stage.

Inside the preschooler’s brain: The neurological processing in the 3- to 5-year-old’s brain is twice as busy as that of a college student, and perhaps three times busier than an adult’s. It’s key to be gentle, even when you’re frustrated. Children this age need to feel safe and confident.

Inside the kindergartner’s brain: Kindergarten is a critical year because you want your child to enjoy the educational process. How can you help your child navigate the new world of “grown up” expectations? Start by talking, reading, and singing together.

Inside the first grader’s brain: The sensory lobes that recognize and analyze challenges are maturing at a rapid rate in your 6-year-old’s brain. In other words, the first grade brain has stunning plastic capability that should never be underestimated. Your first grader will do best with a sensitive, yet demanding teacher who insists on quality work.

Inside the second grader’s brain: Second graders have a propensity to worry. They can fret about nightmares, the dark, their clothes, their homework, or their stomach aches that might — in their agitated minds — be a lethal disease. They hate making mistakes, not finishing tasks, and especially losing. They have to be first, correct, punctual, best, and perfect.

Inside the third grader’s brain: Third grade brains’ myelin-coated “white matter” now usually exceeds their non-myelinated “grey matter.” This means that their interconnecting brain has greatly strengthened the ability for high-level thinking, planning, problem solving, and information processing. You can help your child by guiding them towards “memory strategies” so your child can quickly file away the immense quantities of data that schooling requires. One great outcome of all this white matter development: third graders can be significantly less forgetful than second graders.

Inside the fourth grader’s brain: Fourth graders have stronger interconnectedness in their brain architecture and improved abilities in planning, problem solving, information processing, and long-term memory than younger kids. This upgrade enables them to realize that authority figures are not always “right” — an important epiphany, though it’s worth noting that it doesn’t make parenting easier.

Inside the fifth grader’s brain: Abstract thinking (like algebra) becomes easier, thanks to increased quickness, efficiency, and capacity of information processing, plus integration of brain regions. But the wind-down in new connections can reduce an ability to learn a new language. If your fifth grader wants to forge ahead in math at this time, don’t hold your child back. Conversely, don’t be frustrated if your child is slower memorizing those Spanish conjugations.

For tweens, the brain is rapidly developing, with enhanced connections that support improved memory, learning, and emotional regulation. This is a time when they become more capable of abstract thinking but can also experience heightened emotional responses.

The tween years are like magic. Listen and learn more in our Like A Sponge podcast episode “The Wonder Years”.

Inside the sixth grader’s brain: Sixth graders are often reckless, carpe diem action-seekers bouncing from one high-stimulus activity to the next. Accident prone? You betcha. Impulse control? Sorry, that region of the brain — — is still embryonic. Sixth graders might eat desserts until they get sick, they often leap before they look, and — endearingly — they frequently raise their hands enthusiastically in class before they realize they don’t know the answer.

Inside the seventh grader’s brain: More interconnectedness in seventh grade isn’t just a social phenomenon — it’s in their brain architecture, too. You’ll see it in your child’s improved ability to plan, problem solve, and process complex thoughts and information. To multiply your seventh grader’s mental powers, encourage them to play chess.

Inside the eighth grader’s brain: In eighth grade, kids experience a massive boost in brain growth that results in enhanced abilities in problem solving, deductive reasoning, abstract thinking, strategic planning, and impulse control.

In high schoolers, the brain undergoes significant changes, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and complex reasoning. This area is still maturing, which can explain some of the risk-taking behaviors common among teens. Read more about the fabulously vexing teenage brain.

In this grade-based series on brain development, you don’t see much about girls’ brains versus boys’ brains. Are they different? Although generalizations that girls are better at recognizing emotions, for example, or that boys are hardwired for aggression are delicious fare for popular media (and disinformation), they aren’t fully substantiated by the scientific evidence.

The science behind a growing healthy brain emphasizes the importance of physical activity, nutrition, music, and mental stimulation. Activities that challenge the brain, such as puzzles and learning new skills, can promote cognitive growth. Stanford researcher Carol Dweck encourages parents to let children do hard work, praise their effort, and don’t dumb things down for them.

Ensuring a balanced diet rich in nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids supports brain health, while regular exercise increases blood flow to the brain and boosts mood. By fostering these healthy habits, parents can contribute to optimal brain development during these formative years.

Screens and your child’s brain development

From entertainment to school to work, screens are taking over our lives. At least, it can feel that way. Of course, not all screen time is of equivalent value. But parents and researchers alike wonder (and worry) about how screens affect developing brains. Our writers have dug into the research to bring you the latest on how a variety of media affect the brain, including cell phones, tablets, television, social media, and video games.

There’s good news and there’s bad news — but it’s best as parents to stay informed.

Learning and cognitive development

Cognitive development encompasses the processes through which children acquire knowledge, solve problems, and develop critical thinking skills.

In the 1980s and 1990s, it was widely thought that understanding how different children learn — whether visually, audibly, or kinesthetically — significantly enhanced their educational experiences. We have old articles on these concepts so you can see what these concepts were about. Basically, visual learners were thought to thrive with diagrams and written texts, while auditory learners were thought to benefit from discussions and listening activities. Physical learners, on the other hand, were thought to engage best through hands-on experiences and movement. However, as researcher and professor William Furey wrote in , “… despite the intuitive appeal, there is little to no empirical evidence that learning styles are real. The fields of cognitive psychology and neuroscience consider them a “neuromyth” and disavow the practice of matching instruction to individuals’ preferred learning styles to promote learning. In these fields, believing in learning styles has been compared to believing in fortunetelling.”

We have a section of our website devoted to the science of learning, where you can learn more about how kids learn.

Problem-solving skills

Building problem-solving skills is essential for academic success and life. Empower your teen to solve their problems by encouraging them to think critically and explore solutions independently. Help your teens learn to help themselves by guiding them without immediately offering solutions, which fosters resilience and self-efficacy.

Memory, focus, and learning skills

Memory and learning are closely linked to cognitive development. Research shows how student fitness affects brain function, emphasizing that regular exercise can enhance memory retention and cognitive abilities. Incorporating brain foods kids love, like berries and nuts, into their diets can further support brain health.

To enhance focus, try these five proven strategies: create a distraction-free study environment, set specific goals, incorporate short breaks, use visual aids, and practice mindfulness techniques.

For effective study habits, remember that the best way to study for tests involves active engagement, like testing yourself, summarizing notes, or teaching concepts to others. Testing — especially self-testing — makes our brains work better by reinforcing our memory pathways.

Consider giving these six brain-based learning strategies, such as spaced repetition and interactive learning, a try. Finally, forget cramming — it rarely works for more than 24 hours because the information is never moved from short-term memory to long-term memory. Instead, try these three ways to remember what you read to improve retention and understanding.

Addressing risky behaviors with your child

Navigating risky behaviors during adolescence can be challenging for both parents and teens.

One of the most concerning issues is the rise of eating disorders, which can stem from societal pressures and self-image struggles. Understanding these disorders is crucial for parents. Create an environment where your child feels safe discussing their feelings about food, unhappiness with their body, and body image issues. If your child shows signs of disordered eating, such as extreme dieting or a preoccupation with weight, it may be time to seek professional help. Personal stories, like the journey of a young girl battling anorexia, can illustrate the gravity of these situations and emphasize the importance of ongoing support and intervention.

Substance use is another significant concern for parents. Establishing clear house rules about drugs and alcohol can provide a framework for healthy discussions. These guidelines help clarify expectations and consequences, fostering a sense of security. Prepare to answer tough questions about alcohol and drugs honestly and openly. Address common misconceptions and provide factual information to empower your teen to make informed choices.

It’s also essential to stay informed about the dangerous trends that can affect adolescents, such as vaping, synthetic drugs, and the misuse of prescription medications. Awareness can help you engage in meaningful conversations with your child about the risks associated with these behaviors.

Unfortunately, children with learning differences and ADHD may need special attention and intervention when it comes to certain risky behaviors, such as getting involved in sexual relationships, driving, struggling in school, substance abuse, and more.

If your child is struggling with any risky behavior, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a counselor or therapist. Professional support can provide your family with valuable coping strategies and resources to navigate these challenges.

Finally, discussions about addictive behaviors — whether related to smoking, drinking, or media consumption — are vital. Encourage your child to engage in healthy activities and hobbies that promote positive choices, helping them build resilience against harmful influences.

Healthy habits

Generally speaking, there are a handful of widely known, effective healthy habits to keep in mind as you make choices that support your child’s health and development. Many have been covered already (ahem, getting enough exercise and sleep), but here a few more to keep in mind — especially during cold and flu season.

Healthy habits when schools are closed

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we produced a lot of content to help parents navigate the stresses and challenges of school closures. We’re thankful the pandemic is over. We realize that this content may have lasting impact and utility for families facing hardships that cause their kids to be away from school due to illness or other difficult circumstances. So we preserve this health and development content here in the interest of helping families who may need this information in different circumstances.

Prioritizing health and development

From understanding developmental milestones to prioritizing physical health, nutrition, mental well-being, and cognitive growth, each aspect plays a vital role in shaping your child’s overall health and development.

Engaging in open conversations about sensitive topics, such as risky behaviors and safe sex, is essential for fostering trust and guidance. Encouraging healthy habits and addressing challenges as they arise will help your child build resilience and make informed choices.

Ultimately, your involvement, support, and understanding create a nurturing environment where your child can flourish. As they navigate these formative years, remember that each stage presents unique opportunities for growth and connection. By prioritizing their health and development, you lay a strong foundation for their future success and well-being.