樱桃视频

From my daughter鈥檚 first day of kindergarten, morning after morning, she cried from the moment I woke her to the gut-wrenching second I had to pry her fingers from my body when the school bell sounded. Knowing my baby was unhappy in kindergarten was heartbreaking.

While those early days were painful, I reasoned that it was perfectly normal to have difficulty adjusting to a big public elementary school from a small, play-all-day preschool.

Unhappy in kindergarten?

Weeks later, my daughter has stopped crying. But she continues to communicate her unhappiness.

“Mommy, I hate school.”

鈥淢ommy, this isn鈥檛 the school for me. I鈥檓 ready to go to another school now.鈥�

“Mommy, I couldn鈥檛 wait for the day to be over.鈥�

鈥淢ommy, is tomorrow a weekend day? What about the next day? What about the next day?鈥�

When I inform her that the school week consists of five days of school followed by two days off at home, she flings herself on the couch and lays there like a deflated helium balloon. At these moments, I almost wish she’d cry.

Should we switch schools or stick it out?

These days, my husband and I have late-night talks:

Him: Most kids hate school. We hated school and we turned out fine.
Me: Why should kids hate school? They should love school.
Him: It’s early in the school year. You have to let her get used to it.
Me: Why should she get used to something she hates?
Him: It’s only kindergarten. Having a so-so kindergarten won’t hurt her.
Me: Kindergarten really matters! If she hates kindergarten, she might hate school forever.

I know how I sound: like a bleeding-heart helicopter mom.

Underwhelmed from the get go

But here’s my confession: I didn’t like the school much from the start. When I twice toured the school, both times I came away with the same concerns: The bar seemed set low academically, and the kids didn’t appear very inspired.

Now at the end of September, my daughter has seemed to accept her fate, but she still doesn’t like school. I help out in her classroom a few hours a week, and I can see why. The teacher seems kind, but she keeps the kids sitting still on the carpet much of the time. They do a lot of worksheets. There aren’t many opportunities for hands-on learning.

My conclusion at the end of this not-so-sweet school honeymoon? It’s not bad at her school, but, well, it’s boring. She’s not excited about what she’s learning and she’s not getting much intellectual stimulation.

I聽find myself asking questions I聽can’t answer:聽Should we wait it out and hope that things get better? What if it鈥檚 just this particular teacher, who isn鈥檛 terrible, but isn鈥檛 great? And what if next year she gets a superstar teacher? Is a 鈥済ood enough鈥� school good enough?

Or is it time to go back to the school district to search for a transfer?

What the research says about switching schools

Experts often point to studies that suggest that moving schools midyear is a big mistake, but this research is usually focused on all sorts of negative or neutral reasons for a school move: job loss, divorce, foreclosure. The research on parents who actively choose to move their child midyear to a better school is much more supportive of the idea.

A 2017 study published in claims students often suffer negative effects academically if they switch schools, but this dip in performance is dependent on why the student transferred. If the child was forced to move because their family鈥檚 rental agreement was terminated, for example, the results are probably negative. But if the student wanted to transfer, like my daughter, into a school that they like more, the outcome is more likely to be beneficial. The new school, carefully selected by the previously disappointed child and their parents (like my daughter and myself) has a higher chance of being a better match for the student鈥檚 learning ability, and it might also provide a better friendship network.

Research also suggests children cry and refuse to go to school for multiple reasons. A identified the following possible causes:
1) Transitioning from home to unpredictable and disruptive class behavior makes the child anxious;

2) the child is bullied;

3) the child is not adapting to the school work; or
4) the child isn鈥檛 getting enough academic and emotional support from the teacher.

Another , of the National Association of School Psychologists lists separation anxiety, social anxiety, and performance anxiety as major causes of school refusal, with separation anxiety being highest in preschoolers.

What is also unfortunately clear is high student turnover hurts schools. When a student leaves or a new student starts later in the year, it disrupts classrooms and makes it harder for teachers to establish continuity.

Trusting my gut instincts (aka knowing my child)

There’s research — and then there’s your child. Jodi Goldberg, former Director of Local Programs for 樱桃视频.org, has worked with thousands of parents on choosing a school and the dangers involved in switching kids midyear. She recommends looking at the particulars of your child鈥檚 situation and not adhering to a general rule of thumb. The decision to move your child, Goldberg says, depends on your child — their age, their grade.

“There are kids who cry the whole year and who would cry no matter where they are. But you know your child, you know her personality,鈥� Goldberg says. 鈥淚s she the kind of child to get used to things? Is she someone who is mostly happy? Is the school changing your child’s personality for the worse?”

Yes, yes, and yes. My daughter warms to new people and environments slowly, but she’s usually happy and enthusiastic. Since school started though, she’s grown increasingly withdrawn.

“When you, the parent, walk into the school, don’t just look at test scores, use your gut. If you’re not happy [with the school], look for evidence. Ask ‘Why am I not happy?'” Most of all,聽Goldberg advises, “Don’t let someone tell you it’s your imagination, that you’re too picky. If you feel something, it’s there… If you find a [better] great school right now, go for it.”

So I’m going to make the trip to the district office. I’ll put in a new application. Until then, we’ll wait and watch. However things turn out this year, Goldberg offered one reassurance: “This one thing is not going to spoil her for life.”