As a parent, you want to protect your child from harm. When it comes to bullying, it’s not always easy to know what’s happening — or how to protect your child. Whether your child is being physically bullied, verbally bullied, feels left out or excluded, or is struggling with the social pressures of growing up, the impact can be heartbreaking.
I get it. As both a parent and educator, I’ve seen firsthand the toll bullying takes — not just on the kids directly involved but on their families as well.
The good news?
You’re not powerless.
With the right tools, strategies, and understanding, you can make a huge difference in your child’s life and even help create a safer, more supportive environment for your child and everyone around them.
This guide is here to help. Together, we’ll explore how to recognize the signs of bullying, address bullying effectively, and prevent it from taking root in your child’s life. Whether you’re looking for advice on supporting your child through tough times, dealing with online bullies, or working with their school to create a bully-free zone, you’ll find actionable steps and insights to guide you every step of the way.
Let’s dive in and figure out how we can turn the tables on bullying — starting now.
Identifying bullying behaviors
Bullying isn’t always easy to spot. It can happen in the hallways, on the playground, online, or even in the classroom. Bullying is often hidden behind subtle behaviors that parents may not recognize. Understanding the various forms of bullying is the first step to addressing it effectively.
Children with learning disabilities or special needs may be especially vulnerable, often becoming invisible targets because they struggle to communicate their experiences. Even when children don’t directly tell you they’re being bullied, there are 9 common signs your child is being bullied that parents should watch for, such as unexplained injuries, sudden changes in behavior, or avoiding school.
Bullying also takes many forms. Sticks, stones, and drama: the truth about bullying explores how relational aggression — like spreading rumors — can be just as harmful as physical bullying. Emily Bazelon’s three types of bullies sheds light on the motivations behind bullying, from social dominance to revenge.
In today’s world, cyberbullying has added another layer of complexity, enabling bullies of all ages from around the globe to target victims 24/7. Common misconceptions about bullying can cloud the issues and delay solutions, so it’s helpful to get familiar with these 12 bullying myths that can prevent parents from identifying and addressing problems quickly and effectively.
And while it’s uncomfortable to consider, bullying can sometimes come from an authority figure. If you suspect this may be happening, when the teacher is the bully offers essential advice for protecting and advocating for your child.
By understanding these behaviors and their nuances, you can better protect your child and empower them to navigate bullying with confidence.
The impact of bullying
Bullying leaves a lasting mark, affecting children emotionally, socially, and academically. For kids with unique challenges like ADHD or learning disabilities, the impact can be even greater. They may struggle with feelings of isolation or low self-esteem, as highlighted in this exploration of bullying’s impact on kids with learning disabilities or ADHD.
The personal toll is evident in stories like Josh’s experience with bullying, where he faced relentless teasing and exclusion, deeply affecting his confidence.
In some cases, media can offer a unique perspective. Watching a specific movie about bullying with your child can open up conversations about empathy, failures to protect children who are being bullied, what bystanders can do, and resilience, providing an opportunity to discuss how bullying affects everyone involved.
Understanding these effects is key to helping your child heal and thrive.
The relationship between popularity and bullying
Popularity and bullying often intersect in surprising ways. Some children bully others to gain social dominance, which explains why certain bullies are so popular. Their actions, though harmful, can sometimes elevate their status among peers who fear being targeted themselves.
At the same time, children who struggle socially may experience rejection early on, shaping their behavior and interactions. This dynamic is especially common in younger children, as explored in the challenges of being unpopular in elementary school.
For some kids, the pursuit of popularity becomes an obsession, leading to risky behaviors or strained relationships. If your child seems overly focused on being popular, it’s important to help them build confidence and focus on healthy, meaningful connections.
Dealing with mean girls
Navigating friendships can be challenging for young girls, especially when cliques and exclusionary behaviors come into play. Understanding why some girls behave meanly is the first step in helping your daughter. Often, these actions stem from insecurity or a desire to maintain social dominance.
For a child on the receiving end, these experiences can feel isolating and overwhelming. Viewing friendships through a child’s eyes offers insight into the emotions and pressures they face. Parents can play a vital role in guiding their daughters through these situations by encouraging open conversations and providing support.
When the complexities of female friendships lead to conflict, practical advice can help. Resources like navigating the rocky road of girls’ friendships offer strategies to foster resilience and understanding. Stories from other parents show that these experiences are common and surmountable.
If you suspect your daughter is dealing with mean girls, validating her feelings and empowering her to set boundaries can make a world of difference. With guidance and support, she can develop the skills to navigate and thrive despite these challenges.
How to stop bullying
Stopping bullying requires proactive steps from parents, educators, the adults in charge, other children, and communities. As a parent, your involvement is crucial in protecting your child and fostering a culture of kindness and respect. Understanding what parents can do about childhood bullying is the first step toward creating a safer environment for your child.
Effective strategies often begin with open communication. Talking with your child about their experiences can help you understand the situation and provide emotional support. For actionable solutions, consider what you can do to stop bullying, including working with their teacher and school to address the issue or teaching them to stand up assertively to bullies.
Check out these resources and clear, immediate steps from StopBullying.gov.
Building resilience and confidence in your child is another powerful tool. These 8 key takeaways for bullyproofing your child highlight the importance of equipping kids with skills like self-advocacy, empathy, and conflict resolution.
Sometimes, the best solutions come from others who have faced similar challenges. Bright ideas from ӣƵ readers include creative approaches to defuse bullying situations and empower children to take control.
By combining knowledge, practical strategies, and support, parents can play a pivotal role in stopping bullying and ensuring their child feels safe, valued, and respected.
What to do if your child is bullied
Discovering your child is being bullied is painful. But your support can make all the difference. Begin by setting aside your own feelings and listening openly to your child and validating their feelings. Let them know they’re not alone and that you’ll work together to find solutions. These steps are outlined clearly in how parents can help tweens with peer issues. Whether the issues your child are dealing with are online bullying, exclusion, or humiliation, these initial steps are crucial for establishing trust and open communication with your child, as well as showing your child you believe in them.
Teaching your child to find their voice is another critical step. Helping them express their emotions assertively can build confidence and resilience. If your child says something like, “Nobody likes me!,” respond with care and use these six actionable strategies to rebuild their self-esteem.
Knowing what to do if your child is being bullied isn’t just about addressing the immediate problem — it’s about equipping them with tools to navigate challenges in the future. By combining advocacy, emotional support, and practical strategies, you can empower them to face adversity with strength and confidence.
After losing his child to bullying, one father became an advocate on his child’s behalf, as described in standing up for his son. His story is a powerful reminder of how much children internalize bullying. Getting them to share their feelings and helping them to feel loved, respected, and cherished is important and challenging.
What to do if your child is being bullied online
Cyberbullying has become an all-too-common issue, making it essential for parents to know how to identify and address it. Let’s start by addressing what exactly cyberbullying is.
What is cyberbullying?
According to , cyberbullying happens through digital devices like phones, tablets, and computers. It includes harmful behaviors such as spreading rumors, sending hurtful messages, or sharing private information to embarrass someone.
This type of bullying commonly occurs on social media platforms, messaging apps, online forums, and gaming platforms.
Key facts about cyberbullying
- Prevalence: More than 37 percent of young people between the ages of 12 and 17 have experienced cyberbullying, and nearly 30 percent have been targeted more than once.
- Impact: Victims of cyberbullying are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation. ()
- Underreporting: Many children don’t tell their parents about cyberbullying because they fear losing access to their devices or not being believed.
Common forms of cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can take many forms. Here are some of the most common examples:
- Harassment: Sending repeated, hostile messages to intimidate or hurt.
- Exclusion: Intentionally leaving someone out of online groups or activities.
- Impersonation: Pretending to be someone else to damage their reputation.
- Spreading rumors: Sharing false or harmful information to harm relationships.
- Doxxing: Posting private or sensitive information without permission.
How to address cyberbullying
Stopping cyberbullying isn’t just about holding bullies accountable — it’s also about teaching empathy and respect, both online and offline. According to , teens need to learn how to recognize when behavior crosses the line from joking to harmful bullying.
If your child is facing cyberbullying, the steps you take can depend on whether they know the bully in real life (IRL) or not.
If your child knows the bully IRL
When the bully is a peer at school or someone your child interacts with in person, it’s essential to involve the school and/or any adults who are typically present.
- Notify school officials: Contact the principal, teacher, counselor, and other staff members who can address the situation. Many schools have policies and procedures for handling bullying, including cyberbullying.
- Document the evidence: Save screenshots, emails, and chat logs to provide a record of any incidents. Note dates, times, and any screen names used.
- Involve law enforcement if necessary: If the bullying involves threats or harassment that escalates beyond what the school can handle, law enforcement may need to step in.
If your child doesn’t know the bully
When the bully is a stranger, anonymous, or not someone your child knows in real life, the situation may require a different approach.
- Report the behavior to platforms: Social media sites, messaging apps, and gaming platforms have tools to flag and report inappropriate content. Use these tools to block the bully and report their behavior. Refer to this from StopBullying.gov for details on reporting.
- Document the evidence: As with known bullies, save all messages, screenshots, or other records of the bullying. These can be used as evidence if further action is needed.
- Contact law enforcement or specialized agencies: If the bullying includes threats, harassment, or other illegal behavior, contact your local law enforcement or agencies like the for guidance.
General steps to take to address cyberbullying
Regardless of whether your child knows the bully in real life or not, there are essential actions to address cyberbullying effectively:
- Seek support: If your child feels unsafe or the bullying escalates, use trusted resources to find immediate help.
- Talk to your child: Open communication is crucial. Let them know you’re on their side, that the bullying behavior is wrong on every level, and that their safety is your priority.
Supporting your child
Cyberbullying is serious, but parents can take steps to protect and support their children. By acting quickly, documenting incidents, and helping them recognize the importance of respect online and offline, you can guide your child through this challenging experience while focusing both on resilience and your child’s safety.
What to do if your child feels excluded
Exclusion is a form of bullying. When a child feels excluded, the impact can be just as significant as other forms of bullying. Thankfully, there are ways to help. Start by acknowledging your child’s feelings and exploring ways to rebuild their confidence. These 6 ways to help when your child is excluded offer practical strategies for fostering connections, improving self-esteem, and turning the page on exclusion.
Children who feel like they don’t fit in may struggle to communicate their emotions. If your child feels left out, guide them toward activities or friendships that align with their interests to strengthen their confidence. Feelings of exclusion may lead to statements like “Nobody likes me!.” Experts like Madeline Levine suggest reframing these thoughts while building social skills.
Exclusion can be deeply isolating, but with the right support, children can learn to navigate these situations. Offering empathy and actionable tools, listening to their feelings and ideas about possible solutions, and letting them take the lead on solutions will help them rebuild their confidence, find meaningful connections, and let them know you believe in them.
What schools can do about bullying
Schools are on the front lines of bullying prevention, with the power to create environments where every child feels secure and supported — or to fail to do so. For parents, collaborating with educators is a key step in making your child’s school safe and supportive. Open communication and shared strategies between home and school can help address issues early and effectively.
School leaders and educators need to take a look at their own biases and hold themselves accountable for children’s safety. In the documentary Bully, the obliviousness and unforgivable failures of adults — parents, teachers, principals, and other educators — to take bullying seriously is disturbing and one of the most important aspects of the film. Viewers see the horrors that bullied kids endure, and then they see the myriad ways adults fail when kids reach out for help, including “kids will be kids” brush-offs and worse.
A word of caution, however, about zero-tolerance policies. These policies often create an impossible position for victims of bullying, according to this , for the following reasons.
- Fear of harsh consequences: Victims may hesitate to come forward, as zero-tolerance approaches are often perceived as overly harsh and may not adequately address the situation.
- Punishment for defending themselves: Victims who fight back risk receiving the same punishment as their bully, leaving them feeling unsupported.
- An impossible choice: These policies force victims to choose between remaining silent, risking retaliation if they report the bullying, or defending themselves and facing suspension.
- Lack of resolution: Ultimately, zero-tolerance policies fail to resolve the core issues of bullying, perpetuating harm and discouraging accountability.
To truly protect students, schools need supportive, evidence-based strategies that focus on education, prevention, and restorative practices.
Another critical area where schools can make a difference is empowering children to advocate for themselves. Programs focused on helping your child find their voice equip students with the confidence to speak up about bullying, whether it’s happening to them or others.
Innovative approaches, like Kansas’s implementation of Finland’s anti-bullying program, show how schools can adopt successful, evidence-based strategies. These programs emphasize fostering empathy, improving communication, and holding bullies accountable without resorting to punitive measures. Many schools have implemented social-emotional learning goals and programs, which can make a difference in changing the climate at a school so that the emphasis is on kindness and community.
Additionally, many schools have found success with frameworks like 10 steps to building a bully-free school. This comprehensive approach includes teacher training, peer support systems, and clear anti-bullying policies, ensuring every student feels valued and protected.
When schools and parents work together, bullying can be addressed proactively, making schools a safer and more inclusive space for all.
Preventing your child from becoming a bully
No parent wants to think of their child as a bully, but it’s an important topic to address. Teaching empathy, respect, compassion, inclusivity, and acceptance early can help your child build healthy relationships. Practical advice, like How to raise a child who is NOT a bully, emphasizes the importance of modeling kindness and guiding your child to resolve conflicts constructively.
Sometimes, bullying behaviors stem from peer pressure. If other kids are pressuring your child to exclude someone, it’s essential to help them understand the impact of their actions and encourage them to stand up for what’s right. Reminding them to dare to be uncool can empower them to resist harmful group dynamics while reinforcing your family’s values of kindness, respect for others, and standing up for what is right.
Children may also engage in bullying out of insecurity or a desire for control. If you worry your child might be bullying others, start by having an honest, nonjudgmental conversation to understand their behavior and emotions. Resources, like Don’t let your child be a bully, can guide you in addressing the issue and teaching better behavior.
Helping your child recognize the role of The bully and the bystander is another critical step. Encourage your child to intervene positively when they witness bullying by showing kindness and support for a peer who needs help.
Preventing bullying starts with intentional conversations and teaching children to value compassion, inclusion, and accountability. It may take some time, but talking with your child to identify what misconceptions may have led to their behavior can make a world of difference in your child’s behavior now and in the future.
The fine line between sibling rivalry and bullying
Sibling relationships often include arguments and competition, but when does typical rivalry cross the line into bullying? Understanding the difference is crucial for ensuring a healthy dynamic at home. While occasional disagreements are normal, persistent patterns of aggression, control, or humiliation may indicate a deeper issue.
Parents should be aware of the signs of When sibling rivalry becomes sibling abuse. Repeated physical, emotional, or verbal harm can leave lasting scars, even when it happens between family members. Recognizing these behaviors as serious is the first step in addressing them effectively.
In some cases, the distinction between rivalry and bullying can be unclear. Asking yourself, “Is it sibling rivalry or bullying?” can help you evaluate the frequency, intensity, and intent behind the interactions. Patterns where one child consistently dominates or belittles another should raise serious concern. Be on the lookout for power imbalances, differences in temperament and confidence, and signs of bullying.
If your older child controls or bullies their younger sibling, intervening promptly is essential. Setting clear boundaries, modeling respectful behavior, and fostering open communication can help restore balance. Professional support may also be necessary if the behavior persists.
By addressing these dynamics early, parents can create a safe and supportive home environment where all children feel valued and respected.
Building resilience and social skills
Resilience and social skills are key to helping children navigate challenges like peer pressure and feelings of rejection. Teaching your child how to manage these situations strengthens their confidence and equips them with lifelong tools for healthy relationships.
One important skill is learning to resist peer pressure. Encourage your child to think critically about their choices and to feel empowered to say no when something doesn’t align with their values. Practicing these conversations at home can give them the confidence to stand their ground in social situations.
Rejection is another common challenge. When children express feelings like, “Nobody likes me,” it’s essential to respond with empathy while guiding them toward a healthier perspective. Experts like Madeline Levine suggest that acknowledging your child’s emotions and helping them reframe their experiences can build emotional resilience.
For a deeper dive into fostering communication and confidence in kids, check out our guide to helping your child develop social skills to explore strategies for building stronger, more connected relationships.
By focusing on resilience and social skills, you can empower your child to face challenges with strength and optimism, setting them up for success in all areas of life.
Long-term strategies for bullyproofing your child
Bullyproofing your child isn’t just about addressing immediate incidents — it’s about equipping them with the tools to navigate social challenges and build confidence over time. Developing these skills can help your child feel secure in their relationships and better prepared to handle conflict.
Start with actionable advice, like these 9 ways to eliminate bullying, which emphasize teaching empathy, fostering assertiveness, and encouraging open communication. Empowering your child with these techniques creates a foundation for resilience.
When children express feelings like “Nobody likes me,” it’s an opportunity to guide them toward a more positive outlook. Experts such as Erica Reischer recommend helping kids reframe their thinking while building social connections. Similarly, Christine Carter suggests focusing on your child’s strengths and encouraging activities that foster friendships.
Guidance from parenting experts like Jane Nelsen highlights the importance of creating a supportive environment where kids feel heard and valued. Helping your child develop self-worth can reduce the likelihood of them becoming targets of bullying.
Since so much of our children’s lives take place online, 9 tips for keeping your child safe online and these pointers about keeping your child safe on social media are a great way to set your child up for smarter and safer interactions online.
By combining practical strategies with emotional support, you can help your child navigate social challenges and thrive in a positive, bully-free environment.
Taking steps to address bullying
Bullying is a serious issue, but parents can play a pivotal role in addressing it. By recognizing the signs, teaching resilience, and working closely with school staff, you can help your child navigate these challenges and feel supported.
It’s not about solving everything overnight — it’s about taking small, consistent, effective steps. Whether your child is being bullied, struggling socially, or learning to stand up for others, practical strategies and open communication make a real difference.
Bullying doesn’t have to define your child’s experience. With the right tools and support, you can help them build confidence, set boundaries, feel safe, and form healthier relationships.