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The problem: My child negotiates everything — every single request I make.

Teach your child to negotiate wisely.

Do: Good negotiations create harmonious marriages and end world wars, so make sure you give your child kudos for practicing their powers of persuasion. Explain that good negotiators LISTEN, too. Tell your child you’re open to their perspective, but arguing relentlessly will not change your mind.

Don’t give in.

Don’t: Don’t let them wear you down. This will only reinforce the message that persistent arguing is a great way to get what they want. Keep the big goal in mind — a kid who knows when to negotiate AND when to go with the flow, and a kid who doesn’t try to make the world cater to their every whim.

Give your reasons a splash of humor.

Say:

• “You’re not eating another cookie. You’ve had enough. But mark my words, there will be more delicious cookies in your future!”
• “Isn’t it fun to stay up late? Until you have to get up early the next morning. You can watch the rest of the movie tomorrow, but now your pillow is calling your name!”

Don’t make it a power struggle.

Don’t say:

• “Knock it off!”
• “I’ve made my decision so this conversation is over!”
• “Because I’m the parent and I said so!”

Why this approach to your child’s negotiations matters

Constant arguing over little issues can drive you crazy, but you don’t want to shut down communication. You want your child to keep talking to you, sharing their perspective while also learning to accept that they sometimes don’t get what they want.

Kids who negotiate a lot have strong wills and good verbal skills; the key is to build up their emotional intelligence. Help your child learn to deal with frustration by empathizing with them, while still sticking to your guns. And if they have a strong point, concede. Unjust laws are changed because people speak out.